Romance… What keeps it alive?
by Kelly2 on Jul.10, 2009, under Uncategorized
Being a woman, and having worked closely with couples, I have found that we are akin to a bud that flowers when we receive enough love, patience, nurturing, and most of all: safety. When we feel completely safe with our partner, our hearts gradually blossom and grow like a lotus. It is gradual, because a flower can’t be forced to open and if we forced it to do so, the petals would tear. Safety is equally important for man and woman to openly express love. What are the conditions that create such safety?
I know from experience that the paradigm of right and wrong immediately squelch safety. Communication laced with accusations, blame, or guilt shut down the heart into protection mode. The swords and shields go up! So, developing our skill in heart-based communication is the foundation of the fertile soil needed for our hearts to blossom. We do this by openly sharing our fears without blame, describing our needs that promote safety, and exploring together which needs are fear based, and which needs are love based. Such communication is the ultimate definition of Soul Mates. Two individuals destined to support each others’ healing, fulfilling together our reason for being.
July 12th, 2009 on 9:02 pm
I appreciate this blog post. Second to raising children I believe that creating, developing and nurturing a healthy intimate relationship can be one of the hardest ways in life. I think I need to look at my own imperfections and impurities before I dare attempt to judge another humane tieing. ~ Blessings, Peter S. Lopez
August 19th, 2009 on 11:52 am
Thanks for the blog comment, Peter! I have been sharing your inspiring story with others. Thank you for your inspiring inner work!
October 26th, 2009 on 6:38 am
I find it hard to be in a relationship as i continue on my healing without my partner(s) being on solid personal footing (meaning they have self love and don’t NEED me to feel good about the relationship)…so much of my attraction initially is sexual and i find my sexual needs not being met simply because there is no safety in some women who feel they can only be sexual in monogomy…but if monogomy worked we’d all be married to our original partners..i agree with Peter whole heartedly that I don’t dare judge another when i still have so much on my plate!..I get some great hugs though (lol)
October 26th, 2009 on 6:48 am
after reading above i actually do believe in monogamy and am looking forward to BEING safe…to attract safty, trust and unconditional love..yahoo!